February, the month of ‘love’ since Valentines day’s become a commercial success story, reminding people to ‘spoil their loved ones’.

Spending roughly two hours a day in nature gives me a very unique opportunity to think. A lot.

With John Lennon’s Imagine playing and words from my friend Lisa, who posted a beautiful message speaking to couples after our hike yesterday, I climbed my way up Platteklip Gorge. Her post included that they celebrate their love every day but this particularly rang true:

“Instead of spoiling your loved one for one day….Choose to spoil a stranger for a lifetime”

She was encouraging people to donate in support of my 365 Ubuntu Climbs initiative: My commitment to climb Table Mountain every day (just completed Hike 46) to build homes; help under resourced schools teach children to read and increase the database for Leukaemia.

With this top of mind, I was thinking about love and the many forms it comes in. We always tend to think of love in our immediate relationships: ourselves, our partners, our families, our friends.

But not to our extended family.

All human beings.

And another step further: Our planet we live on and ALL that dwell on it.

Cultivating a deep love for oneself first is paramount. I don’t believe we can have our love basket filled up from others. It’s as though our basket is sieve-like designed to hold the beautiful gems we should give ourselves, while what we get from others is like water; which is why we can never be filled with love when seeking it from others.

To this point Wayne Dyer made a profound statement:

“Love is my gift to the world. I fill myself with love, and I send that love into the world. How others treat me is their path; how I react is mine”

I want you to read that line over and over until you fully understand the three important elements of that sentence.

What about people that harm me? Treat me badly?

Someone that’s done a tremendous amount of harm to South Africa finally stepped down yesterday. Probably his greatest act of love to this country and how interesting it coincided with Valentines day. Having read and understood Wayne’s quote most people would say that Mr Zuma doesn’t deserve our good thoughts and so they speak poison and fill their minds with hatred and bad thoughts towards him – which is inside their mind.

This is like drinking poison and expecting him to die.

As my spiritual coach says: “They may not deserve your good thoughts. But you do. You deserve your good thoughts about them. This is what the art of allowing is. It’s allowing my own well-being.”

It’s important to know we control what our world is like, that Loving ourselves means the better decisions we make around our mind, body and emotions, the better they are. What outcome we’d like depends on what we feed them. Think about it, very basically put:

• Exercise regularly and eat well and your body becomes a healthy temple.
• Follow good news stories and read what people are doing around the world to help themselves and others to improve humanity and your mind becomes a garden for positivity.
• Practice love to all and everything around you and your emotions are filled with the energy of peace and understanding and you meet more and more people that feel the same way.

Loves secret

We’re so scared to show others love because it makes us vulnerable. We think by opening ourselves up we can become hurt. That only happens when you chase the water to fill your basket for fulfillment. But when your basket’s already filled with all the beautiful gems your heart can muster you realise something that changes your life forever.

When you stop seeking love from others and create it within; you take back your power and suddenly all moments and interactions fulfil you. No matter how small.

Yes it stings when others end a relationship, or don’t return love back thereby creating a feeling of being ‘unloved’ by their actions. Standing in your power means you know what they do has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. It’s like two people cycling, one’s on a mountain bike trail and the other’s on a paved road. Their paths overlap for a time and they both cycle next to each other, but at some point one has to remain on the road and the other returns to the trail. Their time cycling together was great but the tracks they’re on take them to different places.

Living this cultivates a knowing that you never run out of love. You can give it to yourself as often as you like, whenever you feel like it. Others may come into our lives and enhance our experience but they never control whether we’re loved or not. Like being hungry, you have the food already, they just provide the spice to enhance the flavours.

The more you give, the more you get

Why is all of this self love talk so important? Because it speaks to Lisa’s comment. No matter who we shower our love on; it shouldn’t be for a day – it should be for a lifetime. By including those we may never meet in this giving we inadvertently get double. When our basket is full our natural propensity is to share it. For the greater good.

Understand that the more we give, the more we get. Just try it. Spend a day giving everyone you come into contact with love and see what an amazing day you have. Swap poison for gems. Maybe even buy a gemstone so whenever something makes you feel hateful, hold the gem as a wonderful reminder to stay grounded in what’s best for you – and keep filling your basket.

Our scarcity mindset doesn’t just exist with money – it’s alive and kicking with Love too. When you realise there truly is an abundance it’s refreshing to let go of that fear of lack and gratefully bathe in the never ending pool of abundance.

Quick challenge:

How often do you say out loud “I’m LOVING ….” (insert: yourself, this view; feeling great; this food; the rain; yourself)

Love is more than a day painted red. It’s more than ourselves and immediate circles. It’s all encompassing.

Start opening that heart of yours. It will change your life. And those around you.